September
by Hem.me
Summary: " What's it going to take for you to fall in love me?" "More than the month of September." #5sos #Michael #Clifford
1. Introduction

The first September, what I have grown to call it, was when I found out something that many don't know. Whether they believe in it or not, everyone craves it like a pregnant woman craves cake. They all wonder what it feels like or if it even exists at all. Even for those who have found what I have found, struggled to understand it. Some even struggled to keep it.

I am not what most consider to be special. Nothing about me sticks out. I don't really turn heads when I enter a room. I'm too shy to make friends, so I have few and sometimes I become insecure and think that they are only my friends because they feel bad for me.

Despite these insecurities, I managed to attract someone. I managed to interest them, and, after a while, I loved him.

And he showed me that rare thing in life that everyone craves, but no one understands.

He showed me love.


	2. Chapter 1

I stared at mirror and grimaced as I tried to fix my bun. I don't know how my friends do this. When they do it, it looks laid back and messy. Cute. Mine looks like I rolled of bed and didn't give a shit about anything.

I shrugged and adjusted my leather jacket. It was the boldest piece of clothing I owned.

"Ready?" Tommy asked. "I don't want everyone to get there before me."

I sighed and followed him out of the bathroom and down stairs. It was Friday night and in a small town like Whitfield, there was bound to be a celebration. Especially since our team, the Whitfield Knights, have won our homecoming football game against our rival team. Tommy, my best and one true friend, was on the team. It was odd being his friend, considering how popular and outgoing he is. I was the opposite. I was quiet and awkward, lacking in the friend department.

"Leo," I said to my brother. "Tommy and I are going out to eat."

"Okay," he replied without a glance at me. He had way too much trust in me, but I accepted it.

"Where are we going," I asked Tommy.

He backed out of my driveway and headed towards the highway. "Piz's. You ever been there?" I shook my head. "It's a pizza place in Harrison. You'll love it."

Harrison was two towns over. It took thirty minutes to get to it, but I didn't mind. I was nervous about tonight. It was a simple gathering of Whitfield's football team. I was nervous because my social skills were no where near decent and there was going to be a lot of people around Tommy who I didn't know. It was inevitably awkward and I needed time to adjust.

Sometimes I wished that I went to public school. If I did, I would get to see Tommy in the halls. I wouldn't have to worry about conversing with strangers because if I went to Whitfield High, I would know them. I would have team spirit like the rest of them. This, however, was not the case. I attended Ravenwood. A private school filled with assholes who set impossible standards for people like me. I was smart enough to go there, but it was a constant struggle to stay afloat. My social status was of no help.

Despite my nerves, I was excited. I had the opportunity to hang out with the cool kids. This was my chance to let the tip of my foot cross the line and touch the ground that was outside my comfort zone. Maybe. I took a deep breath. I could do this. I could fake being a social butterfly. Just relax, Violet, I told myself.

I rolled my window down halfway to let the cool air brush my flaming face. I wished I had ice. When I was nervous, I tended to eat ice. It was oddly soothing.

We made it into Harrison, a town I rarely visited, and I held my breath as I saw the sign that advertised Piz's. The parking lot was empty, only one other car which I recognized immediately. The blue jeep.

Tommy and I headed inside and I was thankful when Tommy squeezed my hand in reassurance. He understood my dilemma.

"Vi!" Kate exclaimed. The restaurant was dim in a cozy way, and I saw Kate sitting with Morgan. Aside from Tommy, they were my two good friends. There was one other table occupied.

"I didn't know you were coming," Morgan said and Tommy and I took a seat at their table.

"You can thank me for that," Tommy said with a stupid smile on his face. Someone at another table called his name and he went to talk to them, leaving me with the girls.

They chatted about the the football game and how at one point they doubted that they would win, but they should have known their boys would come through. I made comments about the game although I know very little of the sport and it seemed to work. They smiled and nodded as if I had made a profound point. I felt good that I was having a normal conversation.

"Oh, no. It's Kate." I looked up to see an attractive guy standing behind Kate. I didn't know him, but Kate did.

"Alex! Oh my, God, sit down." He sat in Tommy's seat and I was surprised when he smiled at me and waved. I didn't know who he was, but it wasn't the type of smile that was just to be polite. He seemed genuinely glad to see me.

"Did you stay at the game the whole time?" Morgan asked him. God, I hated talking about football. I was running out of things to say without repeating what others had said.

"Yeah," he said dismissively. "Kate, I gotta talk to you."

"Awkward," Morgan said and I smiled back at her.

"Text it to me," she said and that was that. The secret was forgotten and the conversation moved to a girl named Chelsea who had cheated on a guy named Ryan. I was so lost, but I was able to comment about what a horrible thing she had done. They didn't seem to like her. I liked this Alex guy. Most people would just come and talk to Kate and Morgan because they knew them and they were popular girls, but Alex did something unusual. He included me. I was easy to ignore, but he didn't do that. He explained the back stories of the people who we talked about and I appreciated that. He was nice.

Throughout the night, the football team filed into Piz's and everyone was talking loudly. My head hurt, but I didn't mind it. I was being social. It wasn't awkward. I was giddy with the thought.

Tommy pulled up a seat between Alex and I and started to be his loud and hilarious self. By this point, I had loosened up. I was far more relaxed than I was when I arrived, so I was able to joke around with Tommy like I always did when were alone. I couldn't believe that the girl laughing her hideous laugh at Tommy, who was throwing salt on some guy while shouting that he was salty, was me, Violet Morrison. We were the same girl and I was proud of that.

I noticed Alex whispering to Kate and she was smiling widely at him, showing her perfectly straight, white teeth. I tried to not feel so disappointed. He was just being nice to the awkward girl. It wasn't like he was going to take an interest in me.

The night went on and around eleven, I was ready to go to bed. I had been up since five in the morning and I wanted sleep. I wished I wasn't tired because I didn't want social Violet to go away and I knew she would after tonight. I couldn't leave, however, because Tommy was my ride and it was his senior year. I wasn't about to ask him to leave early so that I could sleep.

Around 11:30 I got my wish, kind of.

"Banger at Tommy's!" Someone shouted. Great. I could go home, but sleep might as well be a distant memory.

Everyone cheered and began filing out of the restaurant. I walked to the car and waited for Tommy. I was freezing, making me want to curl into bed and sleep even more. My social excitement wasn't worth this feeling.

We eventually made it to Tommy's house. He let me go inside to change into a t shirt, so the shirt I was wearing didn't get ruined, but he made me promise that I would come to his house immediately afterwards. I knew he would come over and drag me out himself if he had to.

Leo wasn't home. There was a note that said he was staying at Lauren's house for the night and if I needed anything, I should just call him. Part of me thinks he knew that Tommy would have a party and that's why he left. I didn't understand my brother. I quickly changed and fussed with my hair again. I wanted to sit on my bed for a minute and rest, but sleep was too tempting and Tommy wasn't sweet enough to leave me alone.

I climbed out of my bedroom window and carefully ran along the roof to the edge. I then lowered myself over the edge until my Vans were touching the top of the brick wall that surrounds my backyard. It separated my house from Tommy's, his house being behind mine. People were already littering the backyard, red plastic cups in their hands, and none of them noticed me running along the wall and jumping onto the trampoline.

I entered the kitchen, not surprised at how crowded it was, and made my way through rooms to find Tommy or someone that I felt comfortable with. I spotted Kate, but it looked like she was trying to flirt so I left her alone. I stood against the wall, out of the way of people who were going back and forth to the living room and kitchen, and pulled out my cell phone. I prayed Tommy would notice my text through the chaos.

"Hey, Violet, right?"

I turned to see Alex holding a red cup with that genuine smile of his. He moved to stand across from me, leaning his shoulder against the wall like I was. I sighed, but it was barely audible. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to Alex; I did because he was so funny and nice. It was my desire to go home that had me sigh.

"Yeah. Alex?" I asked just because it would seem weird that I knew his name when he kind of knew mine. I was over thinking things.

"Yeah, what are you doing against the wall? The party's over there." He pointed to the living room and smiled at me.

"I...don't know." I shrugged, not knowing what a good answer would be.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked. Before I could say no he was flowing through the crowd like a body floating in water. I sighed and put my back to the wall and looked at my shoes.

"Here." A red cup was held under my face and I looked at the contents. Coke, no doubt with a little something extra. I could smell the cherry vodka. I looked up and was surprised to see a guy with bright red hair. My eyes widened and I stared at him and the cup. "Well," he said shaking the cup in my face.

"I don't drink," I said taking the cup from him.

"Then why'd you take the cup?" He smirked and my cheeks flamed. I knew the awkwardness would catch up to me. I shrugged and his smirk became more cocky. I hated when guys were like that, but I guess it's different when the cocky smirk was directed towards me.

"I'm Michael Clifford," he said leaning his shoulder against the wall. He was here to stay for a while, I guess.

"Violet," I said. I was no longer able to fake being confident. I was shy and it was obvious. Michael seemed to be confident though. His bright red hair made that obvious. There was something else that was different about him, and I couldn't put my finger on it. I realized that it was his clothes. He didn't have a football jersey on or any article of clothing with the school's logo on it. He was wearing a blue flannel shirt and black skinny jeans. It was vastly different from the boys that I knew, and I was interested in it.

"So, Vi," he said as if we were long time friends, "do you attend the local high school?" His tone was mockingly formal and sarcastic. I wanted to laugh.

"Uh, no," I said shyly. "I go to Ravenwood. It's a private school that's a half hour away from here. But I live in Whitfield." I was uncomfortable with talking about myself. Was I rambling? I didn't know the social rules of talking. I just wanted to ask questions. I wanted to know more about him.

"Really?" He said and I waited for him to say something else. He just smirked at me. It wasn't cocky, but I don't know. He just kept looking at me, his eyes darting over my face, with that smirk that never left.

"Do you want this?" I asked holding the cup up. I had been drunk before, but that was a time I didn't want to think about. I feared that just thinking about it would spill the secret and everyone would know. That was dangerous in a small town.

"No, I gave it to you."

"But I don't drink," I said confused.

"You've never had alcohol before, have you?" His smirk was cocky again and I scoffed, but I was smiling.

"I have, and I didn't like it. I don't want this." I shoved the cup into his chest, thankful that the liquid didn't slosh onto his shirt, but he didn't take the cup.

"What did you drink? Beer? Vodka? Ooh, how about tequila?" His tone was taunting and I couldn't handle his intense gaze. I stiffened as he leaned into me, his chest touching the one arm that crossed my chest, and whispered in my ear, "Tequila makes you horny, doesn't it, Vi?"

I gasped and dropped the cup, liquid splashing on our shoes. Michael leaned back and laughed loudly, or it looked loud with his mouth wide open. I couldn't hear over the the other people yelling and the blood rushing in my ears.

I mumbled something about having a headache and turned to leave, not caring whose body I pushed aside to get away. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the wall and Michael's intense smirk. It was Tommy who was gripping my arm and pulling me through the crowd of people. I turned back and saw Michael's red hair and the word 'Idiot' written across the back of his flannel.

He made me feel like an idiot.


	3. Chapter 2

The headache settled in my temples and I wanted nothing more than to go home. I was certain that even if I went home I would still hear the party and Michael's voice as he said those words to me.

I worried that he knew. How could he? I never told anyone and neither did Tommy. We promised each other we would never talk about it, even with each other. I wanted to go home, but it was Tommy's senior year. I refused to tell him about Michael.

Tommy was gone anyway. His speech was slurred and he was saying crazy things. He told a story, involving wild hand motions, and was practically yelling. The story was untrue, or it was at least one that I've never heard. It involved being hit by a deer. Not hitting a deer, but a deer hitting him.

He's drunk, I told myself. I could easily go home and he wouldn't notice. Well he would notice, but he was too drunk to do anything about it. I made my way to the kitchen and left through the patio doors.

On my way I searched for red hair. I didn't know what I would have done if I had actually found him. I wanted to ask questions. Ask him what he knew and to what extent. I don't find Michael though, so I trudged through the leafy yard to the trampoline. It was a faster and more entertaining route to my room. I bounced up onto the high wall and walked along it, keeping my balance with one foot in front of the other.

I lifted myself into the roof and climbed through my unlocked window. I left it unlocked because I liked having it open sometimes and also so that Tommy could get in. When he couldn't sleep he would come through my window and cuddle with me or go down to the kitchen and eat my food.

I took my time, gathering extra blankets for the new cold weather. I stripped to my tshirt and panties as I brushed my teeth. Crawling under the three blankets and laying my head among the many pillows I had felt amazing. My legs were sore from standing up at the party and also from walking around at the football game. I was also aware of the mental exhaustion caused by all the social encounters. How did people do this?

I was just getting my mind to calm down, my thoughts finishing their race, when a tree branch began to tap on my window. I jumped slightly, but stayed still and tried to determine whether the noise would be bothersome or not. I really didn't want to get up. The tapping continued.

"Oh my fucking-" I grumbled as I threw a pillow away from my head. I was about to stand when I saw the back of someone's head. With red hair. Even in the dim moonlight it was easy to see him crouching on my roof. He turned towards me and tapped the glass once more before he realized that I saw him. He grinned and held up two plastic cups and motioned for me to let him in.

I shook my head fiercely. I didn't know him and he frankly made me nervous. What if he was drunk? What would he do? Then there was the fact that I wasn't wearing pants. I couldn't even get up to lock the window, before he was leaning into my room, splashing liquid onto the hardwood floor.

"Oops," he giggled.

"You can't be in here," I said harshly. I'm not sure if I was exactly afraid of him, but he was a stranger who just stepped into my bedroom when I was sleeping. I was a little surprised.

He merely scoffed and moved to sit on the edge of my bed. I bunched the blankets around my thighs in paranoia.

"I have made the perfect drink though," he said in excitement. He shoved the cup under my nose, making me flinch, and I had no choice but to take the cup. "Coke zero-I know how you ladies love zero calorie shit- and cherry vodka."

"Isn't this what you gave me earlier?" I scrunched my nose up and inspected the drink as if I could see words forming in the cup that told me not to drink it.

"Yeah, but this one is perfection," he bragged.

"And the other one was mediocre?"

"You're cute," he laughed. "Take a sip."

Once again I shook my head and held the cup out to a now frowning Michael. "You can't just come into my room! I'm trying to sleep."

He twists his body around to face me better, and I tug the covers over me because I'm afraid they will come off and he will see me in my blue panties. Suddenly his smirk from earlier makes an appearance.

"You're not wearing pants, are you?"

"Yes," I sputter out. "I am wearing pants."

"Cool," he says lamely. He stops and thinks for a short moment. "You wanna cuddle?"

"I- what? No, get out!"

"You haven't tried perfection, yet!" He argues and I shake my head in annoyance before taking a gulp. I did it without thinking, and cringed to prepare myself for the burning sensation in my throat, but it didn't come.

"Oh, wow," I say in surprise.

He nods at my approving tone. "Smooth as fuck, right?" I grimaced at his choice of words, but covered it up by taking another sip. I wasn't too fond of drinking, but this was good.

"Careful," Michael said laughing. "That's like three-fourths vodka. You'll get drunk pretty quick at the rate you're going."

"Mmm," I mumbled and pushed the cup into his hands. He finally took it from me. "Take this away from me."

"Perfection?" He asked. I shook my head. "What?! What could be better than that?"

"Baja Blast and UV. I've been told that I mix it up pretty well," I teased. My friend Veronica showed me how to do it, and she said that mine was better than hers.

"You'll have to prove it to me sometime, " he said in a low voice. I'm almost certain that any other girl would have picked up on his flirtatious tone. I, on the other hand, was oblivious.

"The next party maybe," I shrugged casually.

He looked at me with a serious expression and smiled in a goofy way. "Wow, Violet," he said with a shake of his head.

I narrowed my eyes at him in confusion. "Okay, can I sleep now?" I was back to being hyper aware of the fact that a boy, who barely knew, was in my bedroom at nearly two in the morning.

"That depends," he asked as he set the two plastic cups on my nightstand. "Can I cuddle with you?"

"Uh, no."

"Why not?" He was pouting, but I could never let him sleep in my bed while I was in my underwear. I would die if he even saw me in just panties.

"B-because!" I stuttered. He looked at me, expecting me to elaborate on the answer. "I don't even know you!"

"You know enough. Besides, it's September which is a month that requires hard core cuddling. It's mandatory, damn it!" I wanted to laugh at his silly determination to cuddle with me. "I mean look at all these blankets," he continued to babble. "You are in dire need of my body heat. And let me tell you, Violet, I am the best in the business."

"I-" I tried to think of a way to tell him why we couldn't cuddle that didn't involve him knowing that I was lacking pants. "We just can't."

"Okay, I get it. You're shy and pantless." My jaw dropped and my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He put one hand over his heart and one in the air, his posture rigid. "I, Michael Gordon Clifford, promise to keep my pants on and my hands above the equator or so help me God, may I be struck by lightning! Scouts honor!"

I shook my head in awe. He was really determined; I couldn't help but laugh. He smiled, taking my giggle as a yes, and kicked his shoes off. I didn't say yes, but I didn't stop him from climbing under my blankets. My heart of beating my stomach, I was nervous. I had never cuddled with anyone who wasn't Tommy. Especially not while I wasn't wearing pants.

He smelled like cherries, and I wondered why. It couldn't be from the vodka. It was pleasant though and I pressed my face into his flannel. His legs being tangled with mine made me jump a little when I felt the rough jeans slide across my legs.

"Mmm," he breathed. He relaxed a considerable amount in my arms and sighed in content.

"Were ever a boy scout?" I asked suspiciously.

"No," he giggled and I groaned, although I wasn't that disappointed. "I should also tell you that I failed geography."

I gasped when I felt his extremely cold hands touch the back of my thigh.

"I will throw you out the window if you do that again," I threatened through clenched teeth.

He laughed loudly and I appreciated the deep rumbles that sounded throughout his chest and throat. He had this goofy laugh that was contagious to me. "Well, God didn't strike me down, so maybe it was meant to happen."

It was quiet then and the sleepiness settled behind my eyes.

"You're pretty nice, Violet," he murmured. I got the feeling that he was as tired as I was. My eyes were droopy and I was ready to pass out.

"You're pretty-," I yawned, unable to hold it back to finish my sentence. "Yeah." I sighed.


	4. Chapter 3

I could hear the buzzing, but the connection wasn't made in my mind. My brain refused to accept that my phone was ringing and that I needed to get up. I was just so warm.

I slowly opened my eyes, taking in the sunlight coming in through the windows. I stretched, pushing a pillow over the edge of my bed, and yawned loudly.

"Oh," I said quietly. The window was wide open, and I wondered why until I remembered the red hair. Michael wasn't here, and although I didn't want him in my room in the first place, I was hurt that he wasn't here. Is this what girls feel like when they sleep with a guy and they wake up alone? I imagined it to be a deeper hurt, but still I wished he would have stayed. Then again maybe not. Maybe it was best because now I didn't have to awkwardly kick him out.

I got out of the warm confines of my bed and got dressed before heading downstairs. Leo was sitting on the living room couch.

"Hey," he said lazily and threw a piece of egg at me. He had on grey sweatpants and a green hoodie. "I made scrambled eggs and bacon."

"Weren't you with Lauren last night?" I called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, but I think she's mad at me. " I could hear the frown in his voice.

"Whatever you did, just say that she was right and you're sorry," I laughed, but I meant it. If guys just said sorry and acted like they meant it, girls would be more forgiving.

"I don't know what I did! She was just acting weird." His voice traveled and got louder as he came into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"Well, I could probably help you more if I could meet her!" He had been dating Lauren for only a month, but he never stopped talking about her. I felt like I should meet her. Especially after finding her bra in the downstairs bathroom.

"Maybe when I fix whatever I did," Leo grumbled and stalked out of the kitchen.

I pulled a fork from the drawer and was ready to dig in when Tommy knocked on the patio doors. He had on grey sweatpants with the Whitfield Football logo on the side and a blue t shirt. Black sunglasses covered his eyes.

I smirked and put my fork down before going to the door and unlocking it.

"Good morning," I said loudly.

"Shh," he hissed in response, making me laugh lightly and put my hand to my mouth in a silent 'oops'. "Let's go to Lindee's."

I groaned, but obeyed, yelling to Leo that I was leaving.

Lindee's was packed as usual for a Saturday morning. It seemed like half of Whitfield high was crammed into the small diner. Tommy and I managed to get a table, of course sitting close with a few teammates, and ordered our food. I sighed not feeling the motivation I had last night to be social. I was tired and I looked like trash this morning. No one paid me any attention, as usual, and I stared out the window, watching the cars drive by.

I gasped when I saw a certain car drive by. "Tommy!" I exclaimed. I hit his arm repeatedly without taking my eyes off the car of my dreams.

"Huh?" Tommy asked with laughter lacing his features from the previous conversation with a friend of his.

"There," I said glancing at him excitedly. "Do you see it? A '67 Chevy Impala. Black, four doors. Do you see it?"

He squints out at the street and then nods in realization. "Oh, yeah," he said. "That's bad ass."

He turned at the sound of his name and began to converse with someone else. I deflated at that. He didn't seem as excited as he usually does. I know he's not big on cars like I am, but he usually put in more effort.

Our waitress brought us our food and I ate in silence. Occasionally, I could feel Tommy's eyes on me, while he was between conversations. I stared at my plate the whole time.

"No, no, no!" Brent Plane said to Tommy. My plate was empty, eating even after being full due to my usual social nervousness, and I wanted Tommy to take me home. "The quarterback got tackled and he was taken out of the game because of his concussion."

Tommy nodded and continued the conversation by bringing up "that time Johnson got a concussion". I rolled my eyes and looked out the window to see the same thing that happened the last five times I've looked out there: cars passing.

I felt tears prick my eyes and I shook my head at my unnecessary emotions. I was just upset that Tommy couldn't see how desperately I wanted to go home. He was usually hyper aware of my discomfort. He was always looking for signs that I wanted to leave, but not this time. I put my fists to my eyes and gained control of my emotions. We would leave soon for sure, I told myself.

I felt someone slide into the booth next to me and there was Alex smiling at me. I liked how when he smiled his eyes became all squinty. I had the same problem when I smiled.

"Someone was hungry," he joked pointing out my empty plate.

"Yeah," I said laughing. I cringed inwardly at my lame response. I needed to look up social skills when I got home.

"Are you here with Tommy?" He asked.

"Yeah," I mumble.

"What? You don't want to be here?" He asked. I liked how nice he was about everything. He said everything thing with an easy smile on his face. I smiled back. It was genuine, but weak.

"I'd rather be in bed and watching TV." I said rolling my head to look at him. "But I guess it's not so bad now." My heart beat sped up at my flirtatious comment. He smiled though and nodded in a shy manner. He was so cute.

"Well, I will be right back. I gotta go put an order in and then I'll keep you company." I smiled and got up, slapping Tommy's outstretched hand as he passed him. I played with the salt shaker while I waited for Alex to return, occasionally glancing at him only to find him doing the same. We would both quickly look away and bashfully smile at the table in front of us. I bit my lip, feeling rather giddy at Alex's attention, and looked out the window to calm myself. I felt the wisps of hair that were coming out of my ponytail tickle my neck, so I quickly swiped my hand across my neck. A few seconds later, I felt it again, only now I was suspicious that it wasn't my hair bothering me.

I glanced behind me and caught sight of pink lips holding back a laugh from a red haired boy. My jaw dropped and I hissed, "What are you doing?" I turned back to face Tommy who was still not paying attention to me.

"Oh, my God," Michael laughed, "Took you long enough."

"Shut up," I muttered.

"Who's that guy you were talking to?"

"Alex. Why?"

"He seemed like a douche bag, that's all." I resisted the urge to whip around in the booth and smack him.

"You can't just say things like that about people you don't even know!' I scolded under my breath.

"Whatever. What are you doing today?" Michael shrugged off my rebuking as if it was perfectly moral to say such mean things about someone. Alex was so kind.

"I don't know," I said and then I spotted Alex walking towards my booth. "Shut up, Alex is coming."

"Oh, damn. Heaven forbid I talk to my friend while Alexis is around," Michael muttered.

"You are so immature."

"I'm back," Alex said taking a seat next to me and of course smiling like he wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but in a booth with me.

"What did you order?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

Alex and I talked for thirty minutes, with Michael occasionally making a choking sound whenever Alex would say something flirty, before Tommy's mom texted him and told him to come home. Alex let me out of the booth and I stood with my back to Michael as I hugged Alex and said goodbye. Tommy was still telling some people bye when I felt cold fingers stick something in the waistband of my sweatpants. I gasped, but decided that making a scene was not what I wanted. I could hear Michael laughing at me and I grabbed Tommy's arm and pulled him away from his friends. I was furious that Michael thought he could touch me like that in public or not.

Tommy started his truck immediately, and pulled away from the driveway. I couldn't find a chance to pull the napkin out of my pants without Tommy or anyone else noticing, so I squirmed in my seat, feeling the napkin wading up and rubbing against the sensitive skin of my lower back. I could see Tommy occasionally turning his head to look at me before his eyes returned to the road.

"What do you think about Alex?" Tommy suddenly asked.

I looked at him and shook my head. "What about him?"

"Just...Do you think he's nice, funny,..cute?"

"He's super nice and funny," I shrugged.

"And cute?"

I laughed at Tommy's awkwardness. "Yeah, I guess he's cute."

"You like him!" I scoffed at him, but I was smiling. "I knew it, oh my God!"

"Shut up! I just said he was kind of cute!"

Tommy laughed, but calmed and looked at me seriously. "I'm not into talking about boys with you, but Alex is a great guy."

He paused and I waited for him to continue. It was as if it was difficult for Tommy to say the words.

"And I think...you should go for him," he finally muttered.

I laughed again. "We're barely friends Tommy. Take it easy."

"This goes against every rule in the Bro Code Handbook, but for you I'll break every single of them. Alexlikesyou," he spit out, making me gasp.

"What?!"

"I know! I could tell you were pissed at me this morning for not leaving, but Alex made me make sure that you were still there by the time he arrived because he wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, my God! Tommy, I'm such an idiot. He can't like me!"

Tommy stopped the truck in front of my house and took his seat belt off before turning to face me completely. He roughly took my face into both of his hands, squishing my features together and laughing briefly before he returned to his somber expression.

"Violet Laurel Morrison," he said seriously, looking into my blue eyes. "You are not some stupid teenage girl who can't get a boyfriend. You are damn gorgeous and yes, you are more than a little awkward, but at the end of the day, Alex still thought you were cute. He likes you and I don't blame him. I'm actually really surprised that I haven't had to kick any of my friends asses because of you."

"Tommy," I said, my voice muffled due to my cheek being pressed inward, to my mouth.

"Right," he said without releasing any pressure from his hands. "You can do this, Vi. You just gotta be you. Be flirty and awkward and sincere because these days it's hard to find a girl like that. Alex is a damn lucky guy, if you'll let him be."

I nodded the best that I could between his large hands and he released my face. I was deeply moved by Tommy's pep talk, but I waved at him and got out of his truck. I ran through the cold wind and into the warmth of my house. Leo was in the living room where I had left him nearly two hours ago, but I didn't say anything to him. I thought of Tommy's words. I appreciated him saying that all the qualities that I perceived to be bad were actually cute and had somehow attracted Alex. I leaned against the front door, breathing calmly and smiling. Alex liked me, Awkward Violet. He liked me and still tried to talk to me despite my cringe worthy presence.

That reminded me of Michael, and I reached into the waistband of my pants and pulled out the wrinkled napkin.

**Make sure you're home at 9 because I don't want to sleep in your bed alone**

There was a large, elongated x at the bottom along with an 'M' at the center of the x. It was edgy and the words made me want to squeal. What the hell was happening to me?


	5. Chapter 4

"Are you sure?" I asked Leo one more time. He dropped his spoon into his bowl of ice cream in irritation and glared at me.

"Why?" he said rudely. "She's doesn't want me there."

He looked into his bowl sadly and began to swirl his mint chocolate chip ice cream around the bowl.

"Hey," I said grabbing his arm. "She didn't say that. She just said that she was busy."

I felt bad for nagging him about going to Lauren's house for the night now. He texted her and asked if she wanted company tonight, but she said she was busy. No punctuation, no emoji's. Just a simple "Im busy". He was devastated and I swear that Lauren is the man of the relationship, if there was still one there that is.

"I just don't know why she's mad! Whatever I did, I'm positive that I'm sorry because this fucking sucks. Sorry," He apologized for his harsh language.

I nodded in understanding, and glanced at the clock in the kitchen. It was 8:37 now and I wondered how punctual Michael was. I didn't know him well enough to know if he was the type of guy to be late or early or right on the dot.

"Why do you want me gone so badly anyway?" He looked up at me in suspicion.

"I...was just trying to push you to do something to let Lauren know how sorry you are. You know, so you can fix this and stop moping around like an angsty teen."

"You're the angsty teen," he said punching my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes at him. He was definitely more emotional than I was.

"I just don't know what to do, but I'll figure it out, Vi." He nodded at me and he seemed so determined to fix things with Lauren. I felt as though I was partly responsible for his sudden determination. It was no Tommy Solomon pep talk, but it was pretty good.

"Good, I hope things work out. I haven't met the girl, but she sounds like a gem. And I have to ask her where she get's her adorable bra's!"

"I said I was sorry about that!" Leo said defensively. I laughed and put my bowl in the sink.

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep." It was 8:50. "Goodnight, Leo," I called over my shoulder.

I ran up the stairs, careful not to slip on the hardwood floors due to my fuzzy socks, and quietly opened the door of my dark bedroom.

"Perfect timing," Micheal said. He had just slipped through the window and was smiling. He seemed to tower over everything in my room and I wondered if he was six foot. The moonlight shone through the window and illuminated the outline of his silhouette, making him appear to be a angel.

I giggled and rubbed my hands over my bare arms. I stood against my door, feeling that always-present awkwardness that followed me everywhere. Michael, although it was hard to see in the dim room, smiled sweetly at me from across the room. Neither of us moved from our positions for a moment until Michael glanced around and rubbed the back of his neck.

It was amazing to me how giddy this guy made me feel when I knew virtually nothing about him. Maybe I was just being naive and this would come back to bite me in the butt, but for now I couldn't and wouldn't see past the way he looked at me in the dark.

I, surprisingly, made the first movement, walking to the bed and straightening out the blankets and pillows that were strewn across the mattress. Michael sat on the corner of the foot of the bed and unlaced his boots. Most guys in this town wore working boots, but Michael's were black and kind of stylish. They suited him.

"Do you like Supernatural?" I asked, hating how timid I sounded.

"What's that?"

I smiled and found a way to break free from the awkwardness if only for a few moments. If Supernatural was ever brought up, I could always talk and talk about it and how much I loved it. It was in those few moments of explaining the show to someone else that I gained this sort of confidence.

"It's my all time favorite show!" I gushed. "It's about these two brothers and they hunt supernatural things like ghosts and demons. It's a family business."

"I'll watch it," he said immediately. He stood from the foot of the bed and pulled the blankets down on his side of the bed while I watched him in bewilderment.

"What?" he asked, running his hand over his hair. I shook my head and smiled slightly

"Usually when I tell people about it, they don't really get it. They think it's kind of dumb."

"Are you kidding me?" He asked seriously. "Demons and ghosts? What could possibly sound more awesome?"

I smiled and grabbed the remote from my night stand. Michael seemed genuinely excited to watch Supernatural, and that made me happy. I pulled up Netflix, noticing Michael staring at me out of the corner of my eye and making me blush, and started the first episode of the first season.

I set down the remote and got under the covers, laying beside Michael and watching the TV intently for a few minutes, before Michael's hands were on my waist and pulling me closer to him. I cuddled into his chest, loving the feeling of the soft cotton of his t shirt against my cheek, and muttered Sam and Dean Winchester's lines as they said them.

"Dad hasn't been home in a few days," I whispered into Michael's chest as Dean looked at Sam seriously.

Michael laughed and I blushed. I was glad he couldn't see my face as I totally geeked out.

Sam was confused at Dean's sudden appearance and his concern for their dad. "Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days," I said just as Dean said the same words.

"Do you want to mute the audio so you can recite every line to me?" Michael teased.

"Nah, I could never deliver the lines as well as Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki do," I sighed.

"Jared what?" Michael asked making me laugh at his reaction.

"Padalecki," I reiterated. "He's the guy who plays Sam." I pointed at Sam as he came on the screen arguing with Dean.

"Cool name. Almost as cool as Clifford," he said matter of factly.

"Dude, you must be kidding if you think Clifford is anywhere near as cool at the name Padalecki," I scoffed.

"Please, Clifford is definitely cooler."

"Just say Padalecki. Do it," I insisted.

"Padalecki….Padalecki," Michael said with me.

"Now say Clifford," I instructed, saying his last name in a flat, bland tone.

"Okay, okay," Michael laughed. "His name is cool, mine is lame."

"Not lame, just not as cool as Jared's."

"Shut up," he muttered tightening his arms around me and tangling his long legs with mine. I was glad that I was wearing pants this time.

We finished the next two episodes, Michael teasing me for knowing the lines and nearly crying over Sam and Dean's brotherly love, and the fourth episode was about to start.

"It just gets me everytime, how much Sam and Dean care about each other," I explained to Michael. "I mean they will do anything for each other. It's pretty rough now, but wait-"

There was a chaste knock on my door and I quickly shoved Michael over the edge of the bed. He landed with a loud thud and a groan.

"Shhh," I hissed at him and he quickly rolled under the bed as my bedroom door was opened.

Leo stuck his head into the room and glanced around as I tried my best to look casual.

"Everything okay in here?" He asked coming further into the room.

"Yes," I said. "Why?"

"I heard you talking to someone and then a loud noise,"

"I was on the phone with a friend and then you scared me and I dropped my phone on the floor," I explained.

"Your phone made a pretty loud noise. Are you sure there aren't any boys in your closet?"

"Leo, come on," I groaned. He was getting a little to close to home as he nudged the closet door open with the toe of his shoe.

"Just making sure. I mean, I understand, you're a teenage girl and all, but Mom and Dad would not be too happy if I told them…" He trailed off and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"There obviously aren't any boys in here besides Sam and Dean Winchester," I said pointing at the screen.

"Still. If there ever were. I know Tommy comes over sometimes." I rolled my eyes. I had never tried to hide Tommy when he came over because Tommy was a good guy according to the entire population of Whitfield. It would an honor for any parent to find him in their daughters bedroom.

"They wouldn't be too happy if I told them that your lady friend, Lauren, has really cute, lace bras either."

He was silent for a minute, our eyes narrowed at each other, before he finally nodded and left my room with a quiet, "Goodnight, Demon Child."

I waited for a few moments and then leaned my upper body over the edge of my bed and saw Michael desperately gripping a plain blue bra of mine.

"Release the bra and get up here," I said flatly. He gave me a flirty smile, but handed the bra to me and began to scoot out from under my bed. I stood up, putting the bra in the hamper, and locked my bedroom door. Michael made himself comfortable in my bed once more and I smiled at the sight. It was odd seeing a guy, especially one like Michael, laying in my bed so comfortably. The thought raised a few questions that I wasn't quite sure that I wanted to ask.

"I should lock the window just in case Tommy decides to come over," I mutter.

"Does Tommy slip into your room in the middle of the night? I thought I was the only one."

I whirled around to face Michael. His arms were above his head, fingers interlocked, and he had no emotion on his face as he looked at Dean's frozen face.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked. I didn't bother to hide my anger at his tone that obviously implied something about Tommy and I. Tommy and I have had to endure rumours about the two of us being romantically together before, and every time it made me so mad that people had nothing better to do than think of stuff like that. Tommy was my best friend, but that didn't mean that we're sleeping together.

"Nothing, you're just really close with him. Really close," Michael muttered.

"If you're going say things like that, you can get out," I said and his eyes snapped to mine immediately. He simply stared at me and I crossed my arms across my chest to show that I meant business. "I mean it. I don't need you or anyone else saying those things about me when you have no idea what you're talking about."

It hurt that I had liked Michael so much and I'm finding out that he is in fact just like everyone else. Spreading rumours and assuming the worst about people. It hurt that he would think of me like that.

"I'm sorry," Michael said. He got out of my bed and walked over to me, his steps on my hardwood floor muffled by the black socks on his feet. He tentatively raised his arms to put them around me, but I shrugged him off. "Violet," he said softly. He sighed when I said nothing and kept my eyes away from his. "I got jealous."

I finally looked at him, his green eyes shining as the moonlight hit them. "Jealous of what?"

"Of Tommy. I don't actually think that you're the type of girl to sleep with him. I just got jealous that he's so close to you, and I'm not. Jealousy makes people say the worst things."

I didn't say anything to him, just stared into his eyes. I believed that he was jealous, although I didn't know why he would be. I knew all along that he wasn't like the people in this town, it was obvious when I first met him.

"What I implied about you and Tommy wasn't right and it's none of my business what you guys do. I'm sorry."

I nodded, but didn't move closer to him.

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to find out what happens to Sam and Dean." He smiled and I returned it, grabbing his hand and pulling him into bed


	6. Chapter 5

Waking up, for once, was a delight. I was warm and even though the sun was illuminating my room, making everything seem to glow pleasantly, I smiled as I snuggled closer into Michael. Soft snores escaped his parted lips, and his chest was rising with every breath he took. It was weird to me that I was seeing someone like this: peaceful features, calm breaths, a slight smile on his lips. In books they make seeing someone sleep seem like a sacred thing, and I suppose it was. I wondered how many people, how many of them were girls, has seen Michael in this state. I closed my eyes again and focused on his breathing, matching mine with his.

He jolted slightly as my phone began to ring. It wasn't my cell phone, it was my house phone, that was loudly ringing. He relaxed back into my arms and I sighed knowing that I would have to get up. It was 9:00 A.M. on a Sunday and that meant that Daisy was calling me to see if I was still going to her house this afternoon when she got home from work. Michael rolled onto his back, wiping the sleep from his eyes, and smiled lazily at me. I knew that he wished he could go back to sleep because I wanted the same thing. We had stayed up pretty late watching Supernatural.

I reached over him, trying to ignore the heat that spread over my face as my stomach touched his arm, and grabbed the still ringing phone.

"Daisy?" I asked, fearing that I had missed her call. Daisy was my mom's best friend and the wilder of the two. My mom was cool and collected while Daisy was the party girl. They brought the best out of each other even though they fought like sisters about everything.

"Hey, Sweetheart," she said loudly. She was a loud person in general, but talking on the phone with her was difficult. "You still up for helping me this afternoon?"

I looked at Michael. His eyes were closed, but he was awake. I laid on my back closed my eyes as well. "Of course," I said, "12:30, right?"

"Yes, ma'am," she confirmed. "I got to go. I'm running late for work. Bye, Sweetheart."

Michael's hand found it's way to my wrist and his thumb rhythmically rubbed circles into my skin. It was soothing and made me want to fall asleep. "Bye, Daisy," I said, trying to hold back a yawn.

I hung up, carelessly throwing the phone to the foot of the bed, and breathed in deeply.

"I," Michael began slowly, "am exhausted."

I breathed out a laugh and snuggled into his arm, a smile on my face. "Me too," I said in a muffled voice. "You're warm."

"Do I need to leave?" He sounded sad or maybe disappointed that he had to leave. I didn't want him to leave.

"Not just yet," I mumbled. "I don't have to leave until noon."

"Good, cause I don't have the energy to climb out the window right now," he laughed.

"Is that how you left last time?" I asked. Thinking about how he left the last time made me sad. It was great waking up with him.

"Yeah, your brother pulled in the driveway and I thought I should leave before I got you in trouble." He looked at me with sleepy eyes and smirked. Listening to him say those words made a certain feeling over come me. It was foreign and exciting.

"Leo is a little protective," I shrugged.

"Just a little," he replied laughing.

I looked at the clock seeing it was almost ten. "Wanna go out for breakfast?"

"Are you asking me...on a date?" He asked, faking a tone of timidness.

I rolled my eyes at him and sat up, throwing the covers off of me. "I'll change and then we'll go. Okay?"

"Sounds perfect," he said stretching. He raised his arms above his head which made his shirt rise and I caught sight of a sliver of his stomach. I blushed and quickly got out of bed to find something to wear.

I changed quickly and then Michael and I got into my car and went to Lindee's. There was no other restaurant in Whitfield greater than Lindee's besides Pearman's Steak House. Michael didn't seem to mind though and I was thankful. It wasn't very busy today, the tables that were full had the regular old men who came to talk over coffee nearly everyday. We got a table by a window because the sun was shining in a way that made me not want to look away. It illuminated the remaining green leaves making the sight look beautiful.

We ordered our food and then sat in silence. I appreciated the silence because probably for first time in my life it wasn't awkward. I stared out the window and Michael glanced around the restaurant. It was nice and I took a deep, happy breath.

"You good?" Michael was looking at me with a soft smile gracing his features.

I nodded happily, my hands in my lap, and the waitress brought us our food.

"Eggs and bacon for you, Honey," the waitress said. She took my plate off the tray and went to set it down. I thought I'd meet her halfway and take the plate from her, but I was too quick and clumsy which resulted in me basically punching the plate and knocking my toast on the floor. The women frowned at me and lowered my plate in front of of me. My face was on fire and I was so embarrassed. "I'll get you some more toast," she said in a displeased tone.

She set Michael's plate in front of him and rudely raised her eyebrows at him and his colored hair. She walked back behind the counter, grumbling about us kids.

Michael scoffed at her back, but his gaze went to the table and he just stared for a moment in silence. This morning wasn't taking a nice turn. Soon enough, Michael's attention returned to me and he had this cute smirk as he picked up his fork and asked me questions.

"So, Violet," he said shoving pancakes in his mouth and chewing. "Why do you live with your brother?"

"Uh." I picked at my eggs, some falling over the edge and onto the table, and thought of an answer. It wasn't a topic I really liked talking about. "Well, my parents are from around here, but they live in California now. They wanted me to have the small town experience and more which is why I live in Whitfield, but attend Ravenwood."

He nodded, chewing another bite, and said nothing. "What about you?" I asked. "Do you go to Whitfield High?"

He shook his head and swallowed. "No. I go to...another school. But my mom lives in town, so I visit...often."

His answer was vague and hesitant, but I didn't push him on it. We ate and talked, mostly Michael asking questions about my life and the things I liked. I felt weird answering things about what I liked. I was shy, especially admitting a few a of my favorite bands, but Michael liked them too. Even the ones he didn't know; he made me promise to show him my favorite songs sometimes. I decided then that I would make him a mixed CD, and I kind of zoned out of our conversation as I tried to think of all the songs I wanted on it.

"Violet?"

I snapped my attention away from the window and looked at Michael, my cheeks turning red as I smiled apologetically. "Sorry, what?"

"Are you ready to go?" My plate was only half empty, but I wasn't feeling very hungry. I nodded and as the waitress passed by, I waved at her to stop. She sighed in annoyance, but stopped, throwing a hand towel over her shoulder.

"Can I have a to go box, please?" I squeaked. She rolled her eyes and walked away without a word. "Um," I said unsure if she was getting me a box or not.

I looked at Michael, but he was glaring at the kitchen where she just disappeared into. She came back a moment later and tossed the box carelessly onto the table.

"What is stuck up your ass?" Michael asked her. She turned abruptly, almost as if she expected this exact reaction from him, and narrowed her eyes.

"Excuse me, Sir? I think you need to leave."

I paused my transferring of food, and looked at her in shock. I was shocked at what Michael said, but she really was being rude to us.

"Oh, I'll leave," Michael said. I closed the box and took Michael's outstretched hand. "And here's your tip: stop being a bitch to customers."

I hid my giggle, but I am positive that my attempt to look appalled failed. My heart was beating at what she would do next and what Michael would do as a result. She was furious and stomped away from us like a child who just got their toy taken away. Michael pulled me out of Lindee's and to my car.

"I'm sorry," he said as I drove away. He seemed a little upset as he looked at me, but I could only laugh.

"Oh, my God!" I said laughing even harder at his bewildered expression. "That was so funny!"

"I thought you'd be mad, " he said. He was right, but I wondered why he thought that.

I calmed myself and glanced at him. "Normally, I would have been, but she kind of deserved it. She just acted like..." I trialed off, trying to find the right words,

"Like she had something stuck up her ass?" Michael asked.

"I guess so. Oh, my God." I shook my head at the thought of that ridiculous waitress.

I dropped Michael off at a random house in town that he said was a friends, but it looked like no one was home. As I drive to Daisy's house alone, I worried about Michael. I know nothing about him and every time I ask about him, he gives me weird, vague answers. I know little to nothing about him, most of which is just guesses. It's entirely too frustrating to deal with, but I can't exactly talk about him with anyone else. Leo would pitch a fit about me being close to guys; Tommy would also throw out the protective card; and the remaining few friends wouldn't be able to see past the fact that I was spending so much time with a boy like him. He also sounded a little sketchy. I could imagine telling Tommy about him, and it wasn't a pretty scenario.

"Yeah, we met at your party and then he climbed through my window, that night and the next night, and cuddled with me. And all I know is that his name is Michael Clifford. Thoughts?"

He would rally up the football team in a heartbeat to seek Michael out and make him pay for something that hasn't even happened. I took deep breaths, knowing that Daisy would be able to spot something wrong if I showed any sign of stress.


	7. Chapter 6

The sky was on fire as I drove home. The blazing orange clouds drifted in wisps across the sky and I wanted to take a picture, but i knew it wouldn't do it justice. It was Sunday, meaning tomorrow would be another stressful day at Ravenwood, and all I wanted to do was lay down in bed and just stare the ceiling in silence. I blamed Michael and Daisy for it.

Daisy is my mom's best friend. They've been inseparable since the fourth grade, when Daisy moved to Whitfield. They were total opposites. Mom was the cool and collected one. She had ambitions; she knew what she wanted and she did everything to get where she was now. She was sensible. Poised, elegant, and sophisticated. Daisy was the party girl. She never knew what she wanted. Instead of deciding on what she wanted to do in life, she let life take her by the hands and direct her where to go, much like the Green Day song. She was reckless and cared more about having fun than she did about her responsibilities. They were so different, so much contrast between the two, but they loved each other like best friends and fought like sisters.

I helped Daisy pack up her stuff today after breakfast with Michael. She had ended yet another relationship with a great guy because she "wasn't feeling it", so she had me go to their apartment with her to pack up her things. As I placed her things in boxes, she noticed that I was lost in thought. She accused me of being stressed and started on her rant on how my mother should let me be a regular teenage girl and go to a school that doesn't set me up to fail. I wanted to tell her that every high school would set me up to fail, but I didn't. I finally lied to her and said that it was Ravenwood that was stressing me out, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

My phone rang, but I promised my brother that I wouldn't even look at my phone when I drive because I suck at driving even when I'm focused, so how could I possibly drive when I'm worried about my phone? I glance at it to see Tommy calling me, and I sigh. I park in my driveway and pick up my phone.

"Vi, come over when you get this," Tommy's voicemail said. Then, in a hushed tone he added, "Alex is here, so please come."

I head straight for the back yard where I scale the wall and jump into Tommy's backyard. I can see a few cars parked in the driveway and hope that there aren't very many people here. My social skills were still healing from Friday.

"Violet!" I close the patio door and turn to see Alex. He has a glass, filled with ice, in his hand and a pitcher of tea in the other. His smile is bright, just like it always is when he sees me. I take in a deep breath at the sharp feeling of happiness that has my insides ready to burst. He sets the glass and pitcher down as I walk closer to him and I'm surprised that he hold his arms open. I shyly smile and step into the embrace, relishing the warmth he brings me. "I didn't know you were coming," he says, and I know it's a lie. I'm sure that he told Tommy to tell me to come here, but the lie was nice and cute.

"Yeah, I thought I'd stop by for a while. I've got a bit of a headache though," I said gesturing to my head. It was almost a lie. My head was beginning to hurt, another one of my frequent headaches, but it wasn't too bad at the moment. However if my social skills didn't work out tonight, my head would hurt just like it always did.

"Oh, well everyone's in there," he said pointing to the other room. "Do you want something to drink?"

I shook my head and began to walk towards the door. Should I wait for him? Would that be weird or was I suppose to do that? I didn't know, so I left before I could over think anything else. No one noticed me at first, which did not surprise me. Tommy's back was to me and the people leaning forward in anticipation as they gathered around the couch to hang onto Tommy's story were strangers to me. A few faces seemed familiar, but the names, if I ever knew them, had faded a while ago.

A girl with hair so blonde it was nearly white and pale porcelain skin smiled and gave me a small wave. I couldn't think of her name, but I had seen her many times around time. She worked at the local grocery store and was always giving me secret looks that showed her disdain at other customers. She always smiled afterwards as if we shared a joke. She was nice, so when she patted the empty spot next to her, I moved to sit next to her. My hand brushed Tommy's shoulder, letting him know I was here, and as he paused his story to smile and say hi, everyone's eyes were on me. It was a brief few moments, but I enjoyed it. I smiled at nothing in particular as I sat next to the porcelain girl and everyone's eyes went back to Tommy as I made myself comfortable.

The porcelain girl nudged my shoulder and then went back to listening intently to the story.

"Then Alex here," Tommy twisted his body around to gestured to Alex who came into the room from the kitchen, "starts shouting for me to drive, so I hit the gas and he jumps in through the window while the lady starts throwing her groceries at us!"

Everyone erupts into laughter, but I'm totally lost. The event sounded more dangerous than it did funny. I laugh anyways as Alex walks towards me. Porcelain girl scoots away from me and then Alex is moving to sit on the small space next to me. There's really no room for him on the couch, but I'm forced to scoot closer to the girl. His left leg is flush with mine and our arms are awkwardly touching until he puts his arm around me. I was so close to him and I guess that most girls in my situation would lean into Alex and do something cute and flirtatious. I, on the other hand, was uncomfortable. I stiffened and I wanted to relax, but I couldn't. I kept thinking that if I moved, he would notice it and it would be weird. I don't know. I was over thinking and I couldn't stop.

"Violet," Tommy called. My eyes widen as I focused on him and he smiles, but I can tell that he knows I'm uncomfortable. He made it worse by pulling everyone's attention to me. "Remember last Halloween when we went by the pond and found Mr. Keeton with his twenty-seven year old girl friend?" A few people gaspedat the mention of their scandalous history teacher.

I smiled a small smile, and nodded. "W-we shined the head lights on them and jumped up so fast."

Tommy took over the story, thankfully, and everyone shifted their attention away from me. Eveyone, but Alex.

"Are you okay?" He asked. That smile stayed in place. Did he ever frown?

"Yeah, " I said quietly. "Just my head."

He nodded and looked amused at something. "I like you, Violet." Although I imagined someone saying these words, or even 'I love you', at some profound setting, like during a sunset or after an awesome date. Alex said them in a room full of people while I felt like shit.

"Really?" I asked. I felt like leaving, but I wanted to talk to Alex more.

"Yeah, you're cute and nice. A little awkward, but I like you."

I didn't say anything for minute as I analyzed his words. I was awkward, but he still liked me _despite _that. Why couldn't he like my awkwardness instead liking everything else and looking past that? Maybe I'm about to start my period. I'm not usually this sensitive, I dont think so anyways.

"I like you too, Alex." I frowned and rubbed my temples. A migraine made it's way up to the front of my head and it was pounding harder and faster the longer i sat here. I needed to not think, to turn my brain off for the night. "I really do, but I have to go. "

Tommy finished his story and everyone erupted into fits of laughter. I stood up as everyone made their comments. I caught Tommy's eye and saw that he was frowning at me, but I made my way to the kitchen, ignoring him.

"Are sure you're okay?" Alex stopped me before I could leave. He seemed concerned, but I didn't want to deal with him.

I shook my head. "My head really hurts." I wasn't lying, but even if it didn't hurt I would have faked it. "I just have to lie down."

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"No, that's okay." I want to get away from him, not have him follow me home. "Bye, Alex."

He finally let me leave and I trudged through Tommy's backyard like I'd done a million times. I climbed the wall quickly with no actual reason to need to hurry and stumbled through my window. I was breathing heavily and I went straight to my radio and pressed play knowing that one of my many mix CD's were in it. A loud song by Fall Out Ball came on and the song matched my mood. I had to be about to start my period, it was the only explanation for my sudden anger. I striped my clothes and locked my door in case my brother decided to make a surprise visit although I doubted it because Lauren had finally agreed to see him again.

I sat at the foot of the bed focusing on my sudden emotions and thinking about how much I hated myself. Why wasn't I blessed with social skills? Or looks to kill? Or some talent that made me interesting? I was nothing. I was barely good at school, but who looks at that and thinks that's an admirable quality? It only really counted if you were smart and had some talent. At Whitfield High it was considered great if you were good at school and sports. If you didn't play any sports, you better be good at singing or something.

I wish I could do something! I wish i wasn't Violet. I closed my eyes and laid back onto my unmade bed with my legs dangling off the edge, wondering where these thoughts came from. Rachel Dawson. That who I wanted to be like. She went to school with Tommy and everyone wanted to be her. She was skinny, smart, athletic. She was short, but not too short. He hair was long and dirty blond color and her clear skin seemed to always be tan.

I hate myself.

Suddenly my music shut off and my eyes opened immediately to find Michael with a hand on the speaker. The music was too loud to hear him come in. He dropped his hand and we stared at each other for a while. He could tell something was off. Maybe because I wasn't smiling like an idiot at him or I hadn't bothered to say hi.

"What's with the angry music?" His voice rang out through my room, the sound echoing somehow.

I shrugged and turned away. I was in just a bra and panties, so I moved my back to the headboard and covered myself.

"Sorry," he said and I stared at him again. "For coming in here like this."

He gesture around the room and at my obvious lack of clothing, his cheeks turing pink. The pink looked adorable with his red hair.

"I was worried, Vi." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and waited for him to go on. "I saw you leaving Tommy's and you looked so pissed off. I don't know you very well, but you don't seem like the type to get so mad so I was wondering what happened?"

"Sorry to disappoint you," I said.

Now it was Michael who seemed confused, a crease forming between his eyes. "You're allowed to be angry, Violet. I didn't mean that you couldn't be. I just want to know what's going on." He shrugged, and seemed embarrassed although he had no reason to be. I felt myself soften for a moment and I screwed my eyes shut, choosing not to look at him as i spoke.

"Do you ever just want to be someone else?" I asked quietly.

He was silent, but I refused to look at him. I heard him shuffle around and then there was a dip in the bed and his cold hand gripped mine.

"What's going on, Violet?"

"I don't know," I whispered, my eyes wanted to flutter open, but I kept them closed. "God, I don't know. Suddenly I'm so aware that I'm not enough. I'm not special like everyone else. I have no talents. I can't even carry on a god damn conversation. I'm useless, I'm nothing. All I can do is wish to be someone else, but that'll never happen."

Michael's grip on my hand was so tight and I finally looked at him. He stared at my hand and I wondered why he looked so pained. I turned my head and stared at my bedroom door. It was plain like me.

"You," he started, but stopped to clear his throat. He spoke slowly with his voice low, but soon he was gaining momentum. "You are not nothing, Violet. I don't know what else to say to make you believe it, but I mean it. I don't give a shit if you can't sing or dance or if you stutter and have awkward long pauses when when you talk. Who cares? Who told you that you are less than anyone else because you get so nervous around people? You're not. You're not nothing. You're everything even if you're just everything to me."

I glanced over at him and he was looking at me intently, waiting for my eyes to meet his. The sun was gone and the only light was from the lamp beside me. It illuminated his green eyes and red lips perfectly.

I nodded because I was at a loss of words. What was I suppose to say? That I believed him? I didn't. I appreciated everything he said; it lifted a weight off me but not all of it. I just wasn't sure if being everything to him was enough when there was so much out there in the world. How could I matter?

I looked at him, his expression blank and he seemed a world away from me. He was focused on my face, but he was lost in thought.

He raised his hands up to my face, one on either cheek, and didn't look away except to glance down at my lips. He wasn't going to...? "Can I...?" His low voice trailed off and he looked away from my eyes to look at my lips. I nodded slightly in his hands. Everything was slow motion. My breath caught in my chest and I wondered if I would suffocate. My chest was tight and I glanced down to his barely parted lips. The sight of him slowly leaning into me was overwhelming. I closed my eyes and it seemed like forever before his lips brushed mine and then were pressed firmly against mine.

He pulled away and I knew he was looking at me, but I kept my eyes cast down and refrained from bringing my finger tips to touch my tingling lips.

I finally smiled, able to breath even though he was still so close to me, and he released a sigh. He pulled away from me and stood up from the bed. His hands undid his belt and i gasped. "What are you doing?"

"Relax. If you get to be half naked while we sleep, then so do I. Sleepig in jeans is not exactly comfortable."

I didn't stop him although the idea of being pressed against him without much of a barrier between us both frightened and excited me.


End file.
